Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
