(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
