Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
