I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
