what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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