Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
