I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
