take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
