Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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