did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
