If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
