his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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