Whoa Z and x make the same sound
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
