You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
