Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
