There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
