all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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