I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
