Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
