Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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