What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
we're so committed to being not committed
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
