Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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