you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
this hospital has no fireball
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize