All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize