does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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