I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
