You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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