is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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