Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
