Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
