We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
