tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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