so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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