she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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