So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize