just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize