Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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