Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
either way he was missing a nipple.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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