She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
