girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize