I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
