The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
