You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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