By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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