I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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