But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
