Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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