Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
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Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
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according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.