She said her name was "party"
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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