I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
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Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
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The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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