bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
