not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
