she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
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