i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
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there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
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I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies