The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.