I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
