If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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