Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize