dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
A bitchslap is in order.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
