Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
